How to Make Your Upcoming Date As Happy As Possible - Use These Moves to Awww Your Mate
By Daniel A Amzallag
Having mentioned all these pointers, it is important as well to mention that not all situations are as great as the one mentioned above. To a certain extent, all men have experienced the passion of foreplay, of making love or of simply having sex. For each success, however, there is a failure somewhere. Before knowing what makes a woman go crazy for you, you need to ride the rollercoaster of failure, and evidently, success.
However, there are ways to escape failure scenarios. How can you survive a sexual flop? Here are a few common scenarios and ways to get around them:
Scenario 1:
Men, let's say you are single, and you've been this way for a few decades. Somehow, maybe through the grace of God, you have finally met a nice woman and plan to take her out for what you hope will be a romantic dinner. You are very excited about the night to come, preparing yourself in every way imaginable. You take a shower to make sure you smell good, and then take one more for good measure. You dress up for the evening, ready to wine and dine her, and hope to end up at her place. Who knows? It could happen, right? Let say it does get to that point. Congrats. You've made it. Well, almost.
Your landing gear is not ready for deployment. You carefully follow the advice mentioned above when it comes to the erogenous zones of a woman's body, but your anxiety about your potential lack of performance takes over and you get caught in a vicious cycle - your fear of not bringing in the troops starts to interfere with your actual ability to bring in the troops! What do you do? Stop putting that pressure on yourself. Go slowly. Relax and just enjoy caressing her. Women aren't generally in a hurry, and they like that stuff, so you should take some time to relax and loosen up, too. Take your time, which will certainly relieve the pressure of not performing. Stay alert to any sounds she makes, talk to her, make sure you are in sync with her needs. You don't really need to do anything else. She will actually admire the fact that you take your time versus just going in like a freakin' desperate degenerate sex maniac. Remember, if you had alcohol prior to getting busy, that can cause problems with performance as well. Alcohol does decrease nervousness, which is good, but it also makes it more difficult to demonstrate that you're the right man for the job.
Scenario 2:
One of you has a much higher libido. What can you do? Some would argue that this is not actually a problem, but let's just say, hypothetically, that your woman wants it 23 hours and 59 minutes a day. It can happen. I have met women with extremely high libidos. It's both scary and good at the same time. But how long can a guy keep it up before he's reaching for a blue pill? Yes, all guys are dreaming of having a nympho girlfriend, but the reality is, it can be quite a challenge. Imagine her waking you up at two A.M. and needing it. What do you do? Of course you'll say, "Deuhhhhhhhh, give it to her, stupid, with Napoleon Dynamite's tone of voice." Yeah, of course. In the beginning you'll give it happily, and the day after, and the next, and probably the next. But what about the day after that? Make sure to have some form of self defense hidden under the bed. You might need it eventually.
A high sexual drive in either partner can be detrimental. The partner with the lower libido needs to address the problem as soon as it arises. You need to understand why your libido is lower. Is it because you are tired? That can explain it. Most likely you are not in sync with your daily schedules when it comes to sexual desire. One of you probably prefers it in the morning, and the other at night. Make sure your lack of interest isn't a physical problem. For men, it's possible that you aren't producing the optimal levels of male hormone. Lack of bodily produced testosterone can be a cause of lowered libido. I recommend that you go see your doctor. He can prescribe testosterone for you to increase your desire. Hey, at the same time, make sure to enjoy legal usage of Testosterone and go pump some weights. You'll get amazing results at the gym and in bed. For women, a doctor is often the best source of information as well. Since a woman's normal hormone levels are constantly up and down, any number of things can throw them out of whack. Good luck!
Scenario 3:
Sex with your partner is getting boring. At some point, everyone will experience this issue. Couples eventually lose desire to make love as the relationship becomes more comfortable and routine, and that can be detrimental for the relationship. What can you do? Spice it up. Yes, it is important to recognize that there is a problem because the problem won't go away until you make a change. And change will be beneficial for both of you. You need to see where your comfort level is when it comes to bringing some outside stimulation into the bedroom. You can add some gadgets, some video aids, some lotion or any number of other things. Find something that you will both enjoy. The problem will get worse if only one of you is enjoying this new experience. Talk about your interests and see if you find some common ground. You need to find out if the problem is more complicated than just needing to add a couple of battery-operated gadgets in the bedroom.
Scenario 4:
Too exhausted to do the deed. This is a common problem for every couple in a society where we're having longer workdays, and longer commutes from home to work. By the time you get home and prepare dinner, it is already 10 P.M. and you've got to hit the sack to get ready for another groundhog day. This is when couples tend to stray. Both partners get sexually frustrated because their schedules and desires are never in sync. Never let it go to that point. Instead of finding someone else on the side, make time for your wife or husband. If you are too exhausted at night to perform sexual act, do it early in the morning or hook up sometime at lunch. Find the time to do it. Go for early dinner and stop by a hotel room for a couple of hours. Especially if you have kids and worry that your house doesn't have the thickest walls, you'll want to make sure not to wake the kids, or the dead, for that matter, while having sex.
Scenario 5:
Okay ladies and gentlemen, let's suppose you've done something that you feel extremely guilty about. I used both genders here because these days, women are just as guilty as men. Guilt is a killer because it eats away at you, making it difficult to perform. If you've had an affair, be with a member of the opposite sex, or a member of your own gender, honesty is probably not the best policy. Avoid admitting to the affair. If you know that it was a one time thing and that you don't intend to see the person again, just keep it at that, and go on with your life. If you find that it's eating you up inside, go talk with a Rabbi or a priest, and admit to them what happened. They won't be judgmental and will probably advise you in a professional way about how to handle the situation and the guilt.
Scenario 6:
After years and years of marriage and kids, you start realizing that your wife is more than just a sex toy. You start to realize that she is actually the mother of your children and the one holding the castle, and in some cases, the one wearing the pants in the family. I've seen this many times, especially in Jewish Sephardic homes. In some homes, women actually take on a masculine role and do all of the things that men are usually expected to do, just without a penis. The man is just a sperm donator. That's about it. He is there, wandering around to see if he can do anything productive in the household, but she's running the show. Don't get me wrong, I am Jewish Sephardic as well, and men do contribute to the household as much as they can, but the women tend to have more power. It is probably because the men do not have the patience to deal with arguments, and dealing with a Jewish Sephardic woman is like going into the ring with Mike Tyson. You are bound to get hit hard. No wonder Jewish husbands usually die before their wives - it's because THEY WANT TO.
Okay, where was I? Oh yes, the women you married, the one who carried your children has lost her sexiness. You can't see her as the woman you used to want to boink day after day, and night after night, a couple of decades ago. What do you do? You will need to adjust the way you perceive your wife. You have to learn to see her as a sex object all over again. Participate in the daily chores, try to find ways to make her life easier. Help her to regain the energy that she had in the past that drew you to her originally. If you do this well, she'll be spending this extra energy in bed, with you. Arrange for lots of time together, alone, without any distractions. Go to the lingerie store. Buy her something sexy. Not only do you need to see her as sexy again, you need to make her feel sexy again. Do your job right and you'll be guaranteed to have back the woman you were crazy for 20 years ago.
While some of the scenarios above make for entertaining reading, most men will find themselves living one or more of them at different points in their lives. As a personal trainer, I have heard all stories possible and imaginable. It is really impressive how comfortable clients become with their trainers. The personal trainer becomes the client's confidant. They know their clients' lives inside and out. And most of the time, they try their best to solve as many problems as they can. And it just seems like most problems end up revolving around sex.
The good thing about personal trainers is that we have answers to all the questions asked by our clients. In my case, if I don't know the answer I will tell them, and I quote: "Let me get back to you on this one at our next session." First, the client is eager to know the answer to his/her question, and second, is that there is another interesting subject of conversation the next time he/she comes back. As a personal trainer, you always need to tease your client's intelligence. Before the end of a session, always interest him/her with a new fact that you learned, or studied about. This is why it is always important for personal trainers to keep themselves up to date on changes in the industry of health. If your client is suffering from high cholesterol, study about what are the foods that helps lower the LDL and increase the HDL. Learn about your client's health condition.
One day my client was comfortable enough to talk to me about sexual problems he had with his girlfriend. He asked me if there was a way to delay an orgasm and make sure that the girl gets it first, and then a second and third time before he gets his. At least we know that there are a few guys out there that think about the women first before thinking of unloading their loads. So he asked me if there was a particular muscle to train to make him last longer. This was actually a good question. As a willing personal trainer, I had to do research on the subject. This is what I came up with for him, or in the case of this book, for everyone else. Everyone spends hours and hours at the gym to build a body that will eventually attract the opposite sex, or in some unfortunate circumstances make them vomit. However, most do not know of an exercise to train the sex muscle. I am not saying, nor think it's wise, to attach a dumbbell to your penis with a rope and expect to do lifts with it. That would not be very smart, not unless you intend to stay impotent for the rest of your life. Let's get this out in the open: THE PENIS IS AN ORGAN not a muscle. Do not train it like it's a bicep. However, there is a way to exercise the PuboCoccygeus muscle (PC) that wraps around it at the base of your pelvis. While exercising the PC muscle, your whole equipment is taking advantage of this newfound training session. "The PC muscle is absolutely the most important muscle for a man's sexual health and performance," says Douglas Abrams (co-author of the Multi Orgasmic Man). It controls the strength and angel of a man's erection and intensity of orgasm.
Now how do you find this famous PC muscle? Simple. Try stopping the flow of urine while you pee. The muscle that contracts is the PC muscle. Now that you've located the "love" muscle, it is time to pump it up. "While sitting down, slowly clench your PC muscle as you exhale, hold the contractions, then slowly relax the muscle as you inhale." Make sure you feel the isolation of the PC muscle and that you are not squeezing other muscles. You need to do two sets of twelve repetitions. Do this every couple of days, and increase one set every week. By the end of four weeks, you should get to six sets of twelve reps and you should be good to go. You'll feel stronger erections, and it will take longer to release your load.
Okay, all the pumping of the PC is great, but men who are still experiencing pre-ejaculation problems-what can they do? Well, as mentioned previously, training the PC will develop the muscle overall, but you need to go and fix one problem at a time. Why do men shoot the load in a couple of seconds? Well, because they trained themselves to do so. Yes, it's true. When you go in the shower and start "waxing the stick," you do not have eternity to spend in the shower so you train to let yourself go quickly. Plus, if you left the water running, you can end up with a sky rocketing water bill. You need to retrain yourself to avoid letting yourself go too quickly. Slap it a few times, think about baseball when you feel like coming and you should be set. Once it gets as soft as a rotten banana, you can resume activity. Do this a few times, and control as much as you can the desire to let yourself go. Fight the urges, and after doing this for several minutes, you can enjoy the fruits of your efforts. At that point, you might want to be close to a toilet because it will shoot a mile away. After all these grueling exercises, you are ready to make a woman very happy. Several times in one night. Enjoy! By the way, let us thank Ty Wenger, a New York writer for these great advices about the PC muscle.
Dan Amzallag
Gloateus Maximus: Inside and out of personal trainers lives
Book available at http://www.fitnesstrainersnetwork.com
Accredited and certified personal trainers for USA and Canada
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